TV: It's Awkward

Kevin: What do you think? Should we send her to bed without dessert?
Lacey: So that she wakes up skinnier? No, that's not a punishment, that's a reward.

So the insult to Orwell that is Big Brother is apparently returning to Australian screens. But TV is for old people and the canine cast of Dog Tales. Maybe I would've cared a few years ago, or possibly just in the 90s, back when "situation-comedies" weren't quite so stale, or at least not growing mould. Actually I had a major problem with sitcoms and the like; that awful transfer of emotions creeping into you which makes you curse your ability to empathise: the awkward. Really, if I wanted to feel uncomfortable, I'd leave the house. (When I was a kid I couldn't even fight video game bosses because of the nerves, though I've been cured of that since. Thanks, Bethesda!)

My most recent TV-not-on-TV viewing has been Awkward. For the uninitiated, it's about Jenna, an invisible girl who's suddenly thrust into notoriety after a very slapstick incident in the bathroom gets misconstrued as a suicide attempt.  And it is awkward, but without the awkward. The terrible discomfort associated with it has yet to appear as a side effect. On the contrary, it's insanely easy to watch and get caught up in. I'm not kidding; I've watched five episodes today -- far from a personal best, but still noteworthy considering I'd only just stumbled across it on TV Tropes. Jenna is snarky, but she has self-awareness and vulnerability. She does care what people think, but it doesn't define her. Ultimately what she wants is control over her life, and the delivery is witty and entertaining.

But despite its values, I can't help but be a bit weirded out. First, logical issues: 

x Even if someone were to be found in a position which suggested self-harm, wouldn't the doctor easily be able to tell it wasn't the case?

x If they thought that, wouldn't she be detained in the hospital for the requisite amount of time?

x How did the news spread around the entire school?

x Why would anyone who was caught and confessed, get out of being punished or prosecuted for sending around a nude photo of a classmate, since under law that would count as child pornography?
x How the hell does nobody realise what's going on when the protagonist keeps a blog, complete with real names?

And I don't know how realistic shows like Awkward are, but public humiliation and ongoing harassment are often held up as something par-for-the-course in TV, movies and graphic novels. Granted, portrayals of "normal teens" are hit and miss at best, even factoring in dramatic value and Dawson Casting, but still I wonder how much I'm not getting when watching US TV. There's kind of a cultural chasm between spending your formative years in American co-ed public schools and little Aussie me from a private girls' school in the most liveable city in the world. Where I'm from it was considered cool to be anything from artistic to athletic, and definitely so for political and literary. Concrete, impenetrable cliques? Nixed. Cheerleaders? Didn't have them. Metal detectors? Fuck, what? And as for any of those "elaborate" humiliations staged on American TV -- well, as if. We all knew who the people who didn't want to grow out of the bitch phase were. Their friendships with people outside their group were simply more superficial. No fuss, no conflict. That being said, I've felt invisible much of my life, and like a freak whenever attention is drawn my way. So Awkward, I salute you. Episode 6 awaits.

Reboot

Now is the winter of our, tragic, staphylococcus and B-vitamins_systemerror#
_reboot
I am in a place I shouldn't be at time: current, feeling extremely uncomfortable in my own skin, which incidentally is covered in permanent marker (llama with "five legs" and pac-man penis). House, naturally, coated in drunken debris. Such impropriety. Don't tell my parents.

News of the Outside World: Teenager drunk-punch-dead. Taliban peace talks: joke in itself. And North Korea has manufactured another massive metal di -- missile.
So Lennon imagined a world with nothing to kill or die for, no possessions or war?
Dreamer? Tripper. End through violence.

"The spiritual dichotomy: Devil-God. And the inner dichotomy: the child-the man. They're out there in front of the Dakota late one night."

I lied. It's Autumn.

Nineteen Seventy-Two

My Hobbies

4) Spontaneous poetry

5) Bitching

6) Thinking up evil things to do, then not doing them

7) Drawing robots on public property, because I'm a mad bitchatter

8) Flipping off drivers who don't give way to pedestrians

9) Composing irrelevant scenes in great detail in my head, then forgetting them

10) Implanting songs in peoples' heads (turn around, briiight eyes...)

11) Wondering what Buffy would do

12) Obsessive/ superfluous list-making

13) Judging houses while on walks

14) Extreme! budgeting

15) Saying 'cow' when nothing else comes to mind

16) Making other people characters in the ongoing story of my day-to-day life ("Cow," he said steadfastly.)

17) Debating the logistics of time-travel 

18) Formulating excuses for late work, tardiness, uniform discrepancies, etc.

19) Reading the dictionary ('dulia': the reverence accorded to saints and angels)

20) Figuring out step-by-step plans in case of fire, home invasion, etc.

21) Imagining all the ways I could die in my daily routing, particularly while in or around cars

22) Imagining real conversations ahead of time

23) Wiki-ing everything

24) Thinking of status updates, then not posting them

25) Starting blogs, web accounts; forgetting about them

26) Lying when people ask "how are you?"

27) Dancing in the shower, or when otherwise naked.

28) Mad oil pastel-freak outs

29) Making up words.
30) Frouffing my hair to 80s-level extremes.
31) Sending rambling, nonsensical texts.
32) Cryptic crosswords.
33) Inventing cryptic crossword clues.
34) ?